A Little to the Left
Now slower
Dear Reader,
does anyone read these intros or do you just skip right to the letters? Let’s skip right to the letters, shall we? Without further ado…
Twinings Tea
Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010
July 13, 2022
Twinings North America, Inc.
Consumer Service
2812 Twining Road
Greensboro, NC 27406 USA
Dear Twinings Tea,
I like to pretend to a level of sophistication and manners that I simply lack. This is why I drink your tea. I'm not fooling anyone but myself, but when I put on the electric kettle and pour near boiling water over a bag of Twinings tea I feel transported to a different time. The process of making tea is relaxing and a mug of a hot tasty beverage is comforting. There's little that beats a cup of tea.
I tend to stick with the classics like the black teas or the herbal ones. I don't need anything fancy. Pretty much anything works for me. I don't like mint though.
A box of your tea lasts me about a month, since I don't drink tea every day (just most). I drink my tea with cookies and it feels downright decadent. I almost feel like I am getting away with something, but I am an adult and I get to decide if I am ruining my appetite for dinner or not.
Sincerely,
Christopher L. Jorgensen
Hello Christopher,
We loved your letter you sent us. Thank you for taking the time to share with us your experiences with Twinings Tea. Our tea is found worldwide and our variety's range from black, herbal, green, and even now providing tea that include vitamins.
I hope you continue to enjoy your TEA time.
Kind regards
Heather
Consumer experience specialist
Midol
Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010
May 12, 2008
Midol
c/o Bayer HealthCare LLC
Attn: Consumer Relations
36 Columbia Road
P.O. Box 1910
Morristown, NJ 07962-1910
Dear Midol,
I think you have a glaring omission of marketing for your Midol product. A simple adjustment to the name and you could greatly expand your market. Coming out with “Midol for Men,” will increase your market capitalization by bunches!
Think about it. Women only suffer from PMS a few days out of the month, but some men act like they are bloated, crabby and crampy and whiny all month long! It’s logical for you to extend a product to these individuals. It would be a boon to humanity if you took away these men’s excuses to be all bitchy.
You’ve done it for women, isn’t it about time you did this for men as well? If you do use my idea I wouldn’t say no to any royalties. Think about it, please.
Sincerely,
Christopher L. Jorgensen
Bayer Health
Consumer Care
May 23, 2008
Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010
Dear Mr. Jorgensen:
Thank you for taking the time to contact Bayer HealthCare. We appreciate your interest in Bayer Consumer Care products.
We have forwarded your message to our legal department. They will be handling all future correspondence directly.
Terri Krehel
Consumer Advisor
0018281990
Bayer HealthCare LLC
Consumer Relations
P.O. Box 1910
Morristown, NJ 07962-1910
Phone: 800 331-4536
June 2, 2008
Midol
c/o Bayer HealthCare LLC
Attn: Consumer Relations
36 Columbia Road
P.O. Box 1910
Morristown, NJ 07962-1910
Dear Midol,
I don't expect a reply, since in your letter you said any future correspondence would be handled by your legal department, but don't you mean your marketing department?
I wrote you previously about the idea of coming out with "Midol for Men." This is an idea we should jump on as soon as we can! We don't have to go getting lawyers involved. I'm not greedy! We'll work out something fair for everyone involved. There's no reason to be missing sales!
The only reason I can think of to bring lawyers in at this point is if we're ready to negotiate royalties and such, and like I said, I'm not greedy, so just send whatever you think is fair to the above address.
Sincerely,
Christopher L. Jorgensen
p.s. thanks for the coupons!
I really was hoping to hear from their lawyers. Oh well.
Over the years I’ve had a couple of legal threats, which is why I am proud to be represented by the Randazza Legal Group. Want to sue me? Talk to my lawyer.
Ok, remember, you can support my endeavors. I won’t beg, but if you’re enjoying this newsletter, or the Jackass Letters website, it’s you who makes it happen. Make it happen! Seriously, thanks for all that you do.
Please share, like, yada yada yada.
Sincerely,
Christopher L. Jorgensen
