A Second Chance at Life
Or: I really love naps
Dear Reader,
It doesn’t happen often, but occasionally I end up writing the same company more than once. I like being a jackass, but I don’t want to be an annoyingly persistent jackass. This first letter was sent to Wallaby Yogurt nearly two years ago. I forgot I wrote them without garnering a reply, so I wrote them again. This time I got a response! That letter and reply follows this first one (which I think was funnier, but I also understand why they ignored me).
Wallaby Yogurt
Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010
October 31, 2020
Wallaby Yogurt Consumer Connections
12002 Airport Way
Broomfield, CO 80021
Dear Wallaby Yogurt,
Happy Halloween!
I am writing because I am sure the one question I have is something you are sick of answering, but I still need to know: How do you milk a Wallaby?
Please don’t just say, “You milk Wallabies one wallaby at a time.” That would be disappointing.
Sincerely,
Christopher L. Jorgensen
Wallaby Yogurt (second try)
Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010
July 5, 2022
Wallaby Yogurt Consumer Connections
12002 Airport Way
Broomfield, CO 80021
Dear Wallaby Yogurt,
I love Wallaby Yogurt. I think your logo is so cute, but that's not why I love the yogurt. I love it because it taste great. If you like peaches (and I do) then nothing beats your “Aussie Greek Style" peach yogurt. Not even your honey or your vanilla bean (but your mixed berry comes close).
I could eat yogurt every day and probably should, since I know it's good for me. I don't, but then I don't do a lot of things I should (especially when they are supposed to be good for me). I like to think yogurt makes me a cultured individual (pun intended!).
Anyway, I was just writing to say keep up the good work. Maybe hang this letter on the employee break room refrigerator so people can read it and smile. You have at least one dedicated consumer out there.
Yum!
Sincerely,
Christopher L. Jorgensen
Wallaby Yogurt
12002 Airport Way
Broomfield, CO 80021
Aug 25, 2022
Christopher Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010-0546
Hi Christopher,
We really appreciate hearing from you!
Your love and feedback for our Wallaby Organic® Yogurts and the packaging has truly made my day; I'd love to make yours. :)
Enclosed is a VIP coupon so that your next purchase can be on us; thank you for making us a part of your household, Christopher!
If there is something else we can do to help, let's chat about it! Please give us a call at 1-855-925-4636 between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. Central Time, Monday through Friday.
Best,
Priscilla & The Wallaby Organic® Team
Case #01320966
Harvestland
Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010
November 24, 2012
Harvestland Consumer Affairs
P. O. Box 949
Kings Mountain, NC 28086
Dear Harvestland,
You should give whomever invented the “Easy pull rings” a promotion, a raise, and a corner office, because that guy is a genius! Previously I’d use a knife or some other poorly designed utensil to cut through that plastic and inevitably end up cutting into the bird! I know the chicken’s already dead, but I don’t like stabbing things unnecessarily! Even dead things.
Now I bring it home, get the pot ready, pull the easy pull rings and that thing pops right in there! Easy peasy.
Thanks!
Sincerely,
Christopher L. Jorgensen
Harvestland®
Food you can really feel good about comes from Harvestland.
December 3, 2012
Christopher Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010-0546
Dear Christopher,
Thank you for sharing your complimentary thoughts about our products.
The HARVESTLAND® brand proudly meets consumer expectations of 100 percent vegetarian fed chickens. When it comes to making the best choice for your family, choose HARVESTLAND® PURELY ALL-NATURAL products.
Should you have further questions or concerns, please call us toll-free at 1-800-881-6250 Monday through Friday 9:30 AM to 6:00 PM ET. You may also e-mail us at www.harvestlandbrand.com.
Kindest regards,
Terry Johnson
Consumer Affairs
000889867A
P. O. Box 949, Kings Mountain, NC 28086 www.harvestlandbrand.com
Well, I hope you enjoyed this edition of the Jackass Letters newsletter. If not, I’ll send you a condolence card or something, maybe even give you a refund.
As always, please subscribe if you haven’t, so you don’t miss a single update. Share if you like what you’re reading. Like the post if you like the post. Hit reply if you want to send me an email. See you in a few days.
Sincerely,
Christopher L. Jorgensen