Dear Reader,
as usual, one new letter, one old letter, and one hopefully to be answered letter. As far as I am concerned, this formula is working for me. Let me know what you think.
I am currently backlogged on replies, so I have enough to bring you this newsletter for several more weeks. Even longer if some of you would send me something in the mail that I could feature here: Draw Donkey Hoté doing something. Send me a book of stamps. Everyone write me a check!
Most likely you’ll get a shout out in the following newsletter and my eternal thanks.
Without further ado…
Ancestry DNA
Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010
July 15, 2022
Ancestry
Corporate Headquarters
1300 West Traverse Parkway
Lehi, UT 84043
Dear Ancestry DNA,
I've been thinking about getting my DNA tested, but I am afraid to. Not the procedure itself, but what I will find out. I mean, I'm pretty sure I am mostly Norwegian with some other stuff thrown into the mix, but what if I find out this is wrong and I have to create a whole new sense of self identity? I'm too old for that.
My other concern is one of privacy. Once my DNA is out there, who has access? What if I find out I am related to someone wanted for murder or something? I don't want to end up on a true crime podcast just because I took a DNA test. Or just as bad, have some insurance company decide my DNA is a preexisting condition. I also don't think I could deal with finding out I have any relatives I didn't already know about.
I'm sure the police would love to have access to your database, and probably do, and that bothers me too. I don't need the cops digging through my life. What if my DNA was inadvertently left at a crime scene? I don't want to go down for something I didn't do.
Sincerely,
Christopher L. Jorgensen
p.s. I am sure my DNA is all over this letter, so I can't stop you from running it. Let me know what you find.
ancestry
July 25, 2022
Dear Mr. Jorgensen,
Thank you for contacting Ancestry. We regret not getting back to you sooner and we are happy to help.
When you submit a sample, we compare the data from our database from more than 1,500 global regions and create a breakdown of your ethnicity by percentage. The way a range is calculated depends on the region and the value of your most likely estimate and may change overtime when we update our reference panels.
For over 20 years, people have trusted Ancestry with personal information about themselves and their families. As we lead the way in consumer DNA testing, we are committed to upholding our privacy principles. When you make new discoveries with us, we want you to feel confident and informed. Your privacy is very important to us. Please see our Privacy Statement and Privacy Center for additional information.
DNA samples are tested in a secure third-party testing lab in the United States. We separate your identity from your DNA sample throughout the testing process and use only your unique activation code to track your DNA. Your results are encrypted and stored in our database, which are safe guarded by several security measures. As well as protecting the information from unauthorized access from those outside of AncestryDNA, we strictly limit access to this database from within the company as well.
If you need additional assistance, please feel free to call us at 1-800-ANCESTRY (1-800-262-3787) between the hours of 9am to 11pm EST, seven days a week.
Sincerely,
JL
Customer Solutions Associate Ancestry
1300 West Traverse Parkway
Lehi, UT 84043 -Q Phone 801705 7000
Frank’s RedHot
Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010
September 19, 2012
Consumer Relations
Reckitt Benckiser LLC
P.O. Box 224
Parsippany, NJ 07054-0224
Dear Frank’s RedHot,
I love your commercials where the old woman Ethel says she “puts that shit on everything,” but instead of actually using the word shit you bleep it. I laugh every time! I can totally relate to her (other than I’m not yet old and am all man!) I too put hot sauce on everything. Usually it’s Dave’s or Blair’s, but occasionally it’s some sriracha when I am slumming it.
Only Blair makes it spicy enough. Dave has decent flavors, but is never hot enough. I’d like to try some Frank’s, but I doubt it’ll be hot. All the time companies put “spicy” and “hot” on their products just to get me to buy them and then when I do they aren’t hot at all! Only Blair tells the truth about his sauces.
So if I try a bottle of Frank’s, and it’s not hot. who do I send it to for a refund? Because I aint putting that shit on everything if don’t have some kick.
Sincerely,
Christopher L. Jorgensen
Reckitt Benckiser
October 1, 2012
Dear Mr. Jorgensen:
Thank you for contacting Reckitt Benckiser regarding Frank’s® RedHot® Cayenne Pepper Sauce.
To better address your concerns, it would be helpful to discuss this matter with you directly. Please call me at 1-800-228-4722, choosing option (1) on the automated menu, weekdays between 9:00am and 5:00pm Eastern Time.
We appreciate the opportunity to respond to your concerns, and look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.
Sincerely,
Pat Riley
Consumer Relations
C240734230
Reckitt Benckiser LLC
PO Box 224
Parsippany, NJ 07054-0224
T 973 404 2600
F 973 404 5699
www.reckittbenckiser.com
US 000238 01 - 01 000240
Jersey Mike’s (Newly Sent Letter)
Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010
August 2, 2022
Jersey Mike’s Franchise Systems, Inc.
2251 Landmark Place
Manasquan, NJ 08736
Dear Jersey Mike’s Subs,
Ask anyone and they will tell you the one thing Ames, IA needs is more sandwich shops! So thanks for opening a Jersey Mike's. I'm sorry it took me so long to get around for a visit. I ate in one of your stores for the first time yesterday. I don't quite remember what I got as there was a line and I panic ordered. It was quite good though and I'll be back. I got some sort of hot sandwich with chicken and white American cheese and I think there were peppers on it as well. I'd get it again if I ever remember which one it was. Do you know from my description? It was a 9 or a 24 (I think). I'm probably wrong on this.
I don't know what I was expecting when I walked through the doors. A sandwich shop for sure, but I was thinking there might be too many options for me to take in like in a New York Deli. Thankfully, there weren't that many choices, since I still had a hard time deciding. Next time, I promise I'll be prepared.
The brownie I got was also fairly decent.
Sincerely,
Christopher L. Jorgensen
As always, hit the reply if you have questions, suggestions, or feedback. Like, share, and subscribe (if you haven’t already). I’ll keep ‘em coming; you keep reading.
See you Saturday.
Sincerely,
Christopher L. Jorgensen