Good Morning
Sing a little song of joy!
Dear Reader,
I hope this missive finds you well and that you are in good health and generally good spirits. I have been especially worried about you lately. You don’t write, you don’t call. What am I supposed to think? I would hate to find you unwell! Regardless, I hope these letters lift your spirits.
I’ve written over 100 letters in less than a month. This first letter is the last of the new replies. This means I need to get on my ass and write some more! I could use your suggestions. If I can find an address and a bit of inspiration I will write anyone. Well, unless I’ve already written them. It’s best to check the website first: Archived Letters. Reach out: jackass@jackassletters.com.
Daisy Sour Cream
Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010
July 25, 2022
Daisy Corporate Office
12750 Merit Drive
Suite 600
Dallas, TX 75251
Dear Daisy Sour Cream,
I have one question, and one question only: Why does sour cream have a “Best By” date? Wouldn't it just become more cultured and even yummier? I go through a lot of your sour cream, and I go through it fast, so this isn't usually a problem for me, but occasionally I buy multiple containers so I can be assured I won't run out. When this happens, sometimes I go past the date on the carton, and as far as I can tell, there's no difference. Obviously, if it started molding of something I wouldn't eat it, but if it looks good, it tastes good, so why waste? How long past the date can I safely consume your sour cream? I don't want to get sick or die.
You make a great product. I eat it on all kinds of things. Homemade Mexican mostly; nachos, burritos, and potato chips. It's good stuff. I also eat your cottage cheese with peach slices from a can. It's good too, but not as good as your sour cream, but you already knew that.
I mention I love sour cream?
Sincerely,
Christopher L. Jorgensen
We really appreciate your thoughtful comments about our product. We loved sharing them with our whole team.
We're including a coupon to show our appreciation for your support. We're always here to listen, and we hope you share your thoughts with us in the future!
KEEP IT FRESH
Simple tips to help preserve the quality of your sour cream and cottage cheese
Use within two weeks of opening.
Remove foil seal from package completely.
Use a clean utensil when serving to prevent spoilage.
Do not allow the product to freeze; it adversely affects texture and taste.
THANK YOU
Banana Republic/Gap Inc.
Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010
September 9, 2010
Banana Republic
Customer Services
5900 North Meadows Drive
Grove City, OH 43123-8476
Dear Banana Republic,
I recently bought myself one of those emo hipster Banana Republic hoodies and I do look good in it (if I do say so myself), but I got to looking at the tag and it says it’s made with 95% cotton and 5% organic cotton. What’s the point of going organic at that point? If 95% of the cotton isn’t organic then any pesticides or anything bad in the cotton is in 95% of my hoodie. Now, if this formula were reversed I obviously wouldn’t be as concerned, since my hoodie would be mostly organic. I’m just not getting the whole mixing of cottons thing. So what’s up with this?
I try to be a socially responsible consumer, so I’d rather have a 100% organic cotton hoodie, but if I have to pick I’ll take fashion over substance any day!
Sincerely,
Christopher L. Jorgensen
Gap Inc.
5900 North Meadows Drive
Grove City, OH 43123
September 14, 2010
Christopher L. Jorgensen
P.O. Box 546
Ames, IA 50010
Dear Mr. Jorgensen:
Thank you for your letter to Banana Republic. We appreciate the time you’ve taken to share your feedback about your Banana Republic hoodie. At Banana Republic, our goal is to provide merchandise of exceptional quality and style, and we appreciate you sharing your feedback about the amount of organic cotton used in your hoodie.
We’re thrilled to hear that you enjoy wearing your Emo Hipster Hoodie. We know many of our customers are interested in purchasing garments made with organic cotton. Unfortunately, demand for organic cotton has outpaced supply; there simply aren’t enough organic farms operating. Additionally, turning the fibers into fabrics requires a painstaking documentation and certification process. Please be assured that we will share your feedback regarding the higher content of cotton versus organic cotton to the appropriate individuals within our company.
Than you, again for your letter Mr. Jorgensen. We look forward to shopping with you again soon.
Sincerely,
Chris Wingenfield
Gap Inc. Customer Relations
Unanswered: Bain Capital
Christopher L. Jorgensen
PO Box 546
Ames, IA 50010
March 15, 2012
Bain Capital
John Hancock Tower
200 Clarendon Street
Boston, MA 02116
Dear Bain Capital,
I am writing to verify the employment of an individual that has stated he has worked for you in the past. Could you please verify what dates Willard Mitt Romney was employed at your company and in what capacity? If you have any recommendations regarding this employee that would be welcome as well. Was he a hard worker? Did he show up on time and prepared for the job? Did he have a sense of urgency and professionalism? Did you value him and consider him a truthful employee? Was he generally well dressed? Did he surpass expectations? Did he treat his wife and pets well? Was he liked and respected by his peers? In short, did he live up to his cover letter and résumé?
Personally, I do not doubt his statements, nor his résumé, but some have begun to question the veracity of Romney’s claims. Would you hire this employee again if offered the chance?
I find myself in the most unique position of being able to decide this individual’s future employment, and, like all responsible hiring agents, I must perform my due diligence, verify he has indeed worked at Bain Capital, and hope I make the correct hiring decision. At a minimum you must verify his hiring dates!
It is hoped this position will be filled by Tuesday, November 6. If I do not hear from you 150 days prior I may go with my current hire, but honestly a lot of people are questioning how well he’s working out.
Sincerely,
Christopher L. Jorgensen
Thanks for spending time with me. Our time together is special to me and I wouldn’t trade it for anything less than actual cash.
I hope to get on the letter writing bandwagon again soon.
Sincerely,
Christopher L. Jorgensen
